Instagram Live with Kinia Romanowska

Our (Social) Distance Learning this week featured the incredible Kinia Romanowska.

Kinia is an award-winning journalist turned entrepreneur, maternity leave strategist, and working mom whisperer. ⁠She helps brainy, perfectionist moms make leaps and bounds in their careers and family satisfaction, without them having to compromise family happiness or health.⁠

Kinia is the founder and host of the MoMBA, Canada's only 360-leadership and personal development custom designed for the busy, ambitious mom.⁠ She is known for her work with engineers, STEM professionals, and other demanding sectors, such as diplomacy and finance.⁠

Kinia is a sought-after facilitator and speaker in public and private organizations, and media. ⁠She is a wife, mom of two, well-traveled, and passionate about making sure the next generation doesn't experience the "motherhood penalty."⁠

Here are our top takeaways from the interview:

Don’t make assumptions

“Everybody has such a different journey, some women are just dying to go back to work and travel, others don't, but definitely you shouldn't make the assumption as to what a person wants. You should instead perhaps ask curious questions or encourage them to think about the different scenarios but not make assumptions that just because you are a mother, you’re automatically going to be less committed to your career trajectory.”⁠

Create an open environment for discussion

“Being aware that becoming a mother or a father or a working parent is one of life's greatest identity shifts, it’s huge. So, creating an environment where people can openly talk about it and just hinting that they are open to discussions, that they support parents, that they want to build the conversations just to create that comfortable and safe atmosphere is number one. They say that the manager, no matter what the policies are in the company, is the number one determinant of whether somebody will have a good or a bad transition in terms of maternity leave. So first positioning yourself as somebody who cares and understands, then doing some research.

Take the time to understand what you want, consider outsourcing, and outline your core values

“I recommend having that long term plan in mind in terms of what you’re trying to create for your relationship with your child, your health and your career all as a holistic big picture. Thinking about support systems and outsourcing, first of all childcare is a support system, see it as an investment not just as a cost. One good tip I can give for childcare is do a trial run for a week or two. Start childcare before you go back to work, it’ll give everyone a chance to adjust a little bit more, it’ll give you some time to pamper yourself and to rest and to go back to work energized. You have to know why you’re doing this at the end of the day, and there will be stretches of time that you question your choices, but you have to know what your long game is, what you’re building, when you’re going to rest and recover, and what are those magical moments you want to create as a family. Why would you run the most important business in your life, your family, without a strategy? If you’re going to do one thing after this conversation is booking time with your partner to assess what your values are and often this starts very deep discussions. Working motherhood is filled with tons of really intense emotions, anger, frustration, disappointment, and that often is because of core values being violated. If you want to advance in your career, if you don't know your core values, if you cannot identify what really angers you or understand all the alignment, you’re going to get stuck at some point. So that one exercise of knowing your values with your spouse and making sure that every single decision you make somewhat aligns with those values could absolutely change the trajectory of your life, of your career and how your kids experience their time with you. If you consistently approach things from the same values perspective and you explain to your child, we’re doing this because of XYZ, because of this value, you’re going to really build trust with your child over time and they're going to understand the dynamic and culture of your family unit. It’s like the constitution of your family really.”

Stay positive, communicate, and partner with a financial advisor

“First of all, knowing what you want, there are some key storytelling and personal branding considerations, so go into the experience in a positive way thinking that you’re going to develop new skills, you’re going to have an immense opportunity to learn and grow. Number two talk with your partner and don’t make assumptions about the length of leave each one of you should take, you should talk about it as a partnership and think about whether you want to split the parental leave or whether you want some overlap and then give yourself the opportunity to change your mind. If you are in alignment with your values and if you determine that with your partner, this is a one in a lifetime opportunity to spend time with your child. And then I would say partner up with a financial advisor or planner than can do a 360 picture of your finances because there are so many decisions to take around your finances as a family from your will to estate planning to tax planning and how to structure your EI. So working with that financial planner is going to give you that big picture long term and help you realize that maybe things aren’t as dire as they were and it’s a golden opportunity too to look at the ‘motherhood penalty’ from a different perspective because perhaps you can invest money or learn key skills like negotiation.”

Thank you, Kinia, for joining us on our latest installment of (Social) Distance Learning and providing tangible advice on a topic so underrepresented but so important to women everywhere.

For more meaningful conversations such as this, follow us on Instagram, @directhernetwork, to catch our next live interviews.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram @directhernetwork and join us live for more powerful conversations on our latest Social Distance Learning instalment.